Boyleing Points — Video The Idleing Brain

Posted on March 19, 2015 by Kevin Boyle in Boyleing Points, Columns // 0 Comments

I wonder if lawmakers are like columnists. I mean, it ain’t easy writing a weekly column. Nothing happens, nothing’s going on, a single thought hasn’t entered your head. You start to get a little desperate as the deadline approaches. But you do what you can. And sometimes you pull out a miracle of a decent column but a lot of times you type out 500 words of crapola.

It must be the same with some elected officials. They must think, damn, I can’t think of any new laws to propose. I gotta do something.

Of course, a columnist’s words aren’t worth the paper they’re written on and the crapola is soon forgotten. But when our electeds come up with crapola the stink falls on the rest of us.

This week I get to thank City Councilman Donovan Richards. A column idea refused to form in my head and I started getting a little desperate but then our Rockaway rep offered some public crapola that gave me a column and demonstrates just what I mean.

Richards, representing Rockaway on the City Council, has according to his website: “spent the last decade fighting to improve the lives of all New Yorkers.”  He’s now trying to enrich a snitch or two.  He’s proposing that New Yorkers turn in other New Yorkers who sit in their cars with the engines idling.  He proposes that people use their cell phones and send in the video evidence to receive a reward.
The online news site, Gothamist reported on the genius Richards move. “You could probably become a millionaire doing this thing,” Richards joked to reporters.

Yeah, hysterical.

Let’s turn all citizens into video bounty hunters. Someone jaywalks? Film it and win $50. Someone doesn’t come to a complete stop at a stop sign? Film it and get $300.

Don’t stop someone from getting beat up? Film it instead and get $300. And if there’s a conviction, get $200 more.

Richards is the chair of the Environmental Committee of the City Council so he’s just trying to keep us healthy. “It’s not just about the money but it’s also about changing human behavior and people may not know they are doing damage to the environment, to their elders, to their children, hypothetically in some cases killing people.”

Idling cars might hypothetically be killing people but guns in the 31st Council District are more than hypothetical but I digress….I mean, I don’t want to suggest that maybe he’s more interested in idling cars than drive by shootings.

Anyway, idling cars are no good. Ok, I’m buying that. So, why isn’t the City using smart lights so drivers don’t sit at red lights for minutes while there is no cross traffic or pedestrians? It’s 9 o’clock at night and you’re driving through Broad Channel or down Rockaway Beach Boulevard in the Beach 40s and you hit every light. Can I video tape my own car idling and send it for some money?

Maybe Richards will go on a roll. Maybe he’ll tell people to videotape other peoples’ garbage cans. They might film a piece of paper that really should be in the cardboard recycling can. They can film the garbage and send it for some dough. Because, you know, not recycling, hypothetically, can kill people.

We must arm all citizens with video phones and reward them when they send in video evidence. It’s genius on so many levels.

Not only can we have people snitching to make money we can make more laws so that opportunities are expanded. Let’s videotape people going into McDonald’s (‘cause if anything is killing people…)

Let’s make it a law for people to cover their mouths when they cough; let’s make it illegal for men to wear speedos. Wait, forget that last one. Videotaping that could be its own danger.

How about we get money for videotaping politicians offering crapola? Now, we’re talking.

And Councilman Richards, you’re on the Environmental Committee? Let’s forget about idling cars. How about we get rewarded for filming the sewage treatment plant on Beach Channel